ASDF, Sonic Style!
by MyNoseAgreesWithMe
Summary: The Asdfmovies, as performed by the Sonic Characters. Some creative liberties taken with sketches to fit rating, credit for original work belongs to Youtube's Tomska. Update: ASDFMovie 5 is up!
1. ASDFmovie 1

**A/N: This mostly takes place in the universe of Sonic X, with occasional gameverse crossovers when applicable. Original content has also been selectively modified to fit a K+ rating. Enjoy!**

**Update (4/25/2013): Content transferred/modified from original ASDF movies (dialogue/actions) is now underlined.**

******Update (5/15/2013): Added in "Cake" sketch.**

* * *

One bright and sunny day, Sonic the Hedgehog was playing in the Station Square Park with Cream the Rabbit.

"Got your chao!" he joked, holding Cheese just out of reach.

"LOOK OUT, HE'S GOT A CHAO!" yelled a nearby policeman, and a whole mob of officers ran out of the trees, dogpiling on Sonic.

Cream looked on, confused at this strange turn of events.

* * *

"Please, you've got to help me," Ella pleaded to Amy. "My apron's evil, and it's out to get me!"

Amy said nothing, and slowly backed away to go look for Sonic.

"Please don't hurt me," Ella whispered as her apron started chuckling evilly.

* * *

"Hello, trashcan." Chris Thorndyke greeted, embarrassed by the dare Danny and Frances had asked him to perform.

"Hello, Chris!" the trashcan replied, seriously startling the trio of kids, who ran off screaming.

Mr. Stewart climbed out of his trashcan disguise and walked off, laughing to himself.

* * *

Decoe the robot walked up to Eggman, Cosmo's flower pin on his chassis. "Hey, Doctor, smell my flower."

Eggman, wary of a trap, cautiously sniffed the pin. When nothing squirted out, he scratched his head, puzzled.

Suddenly, a panel flipped open on Decoe, and a jack-in-the-box popped out in Eggman's face.

"Ehehe... Well played, Decoe." the doctor grudgingly admitted.

* * *

Sonic dashed through Eggman's base, destroying robots left and right. However, a large red button soon caught his eye, and he skidded to a stop.

_Pointless button, eh?_ he thought, reading the warning label beside it. _I smell a trick. Egghead probably WANTS me to ignore it, but that won't work!_

He promptly pressed the button, and was surprised to see... nothing. "Huh." Shrugging it off, he continued on towards the doctor.

* * *

Eggman was sitting in the Egg Carrier, plotting what to do with his newly acquired Chaos Emerald. However, he soon hid it behind him when his security system warned him of a visitor.

"Oh, hello, Chaos, what are YOU doing he..." His greeting was soon cut short by Chaos bashing him out of his chair. "Hey, what in the name of the Eggman Empire is WRONG with you?"

Chaos ignored him, picking up and swallowing the dropped Emerald.

***Level Up!***

* * *

"Oh, no, the Metarex are too powerful!" Tails yelled from the bridge of the Blue Typhoon. "Sonic and Shadow stand no chance against them!"

"I'll save them!" Cosmo declared, floating through the seemingly impenetrable force field. "Tree powers, ACTIVATE!"

Suddenly, the Metarex were restrained by a giant tree covering the top of the planet.

"Huh," Bokkun commented from Eggman's ship. "I thought that power was supposed to be useless! It was in the original video..."

Bokkun was soon bashed for breaking the fourth wall.

* * *

"I'm gonna eat you, chilidog!" Sonic challenged, as the chilidog sat on a plate on the table.

Tails could have sworn he heard the food yell "NOOOOOOOO!" before Sonic chomped down on it.

* * *

"Eh he he..." Eggman snickered as he grabbed the Master Emerald with a giant claw. He was (quite understandably) surprised when it started yelling in pain.

"AAAAHHHH! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? I HAVE A WIFE AND FAMILY (actually, it's a floating island and a bunch of smaller gems, but WHATEVER!)!"

Eggman, for reasons unknown to him, found himself yelling, "NOOOOOOO!"

"THE PAIN! IT'S UNBEARABLE!"

"What have I done?" the doctor lamented.

"TELL MY CHILDREN I LOVE THEM!"

To the further confusement of the mad scientist, the two Chaos Emeralds he had screamed, "DADDY!"

As their high-pitched 'voices' filled the air, cracks began to appear in the Master Emerald.

Eggman, realizing the negative impact this would have on his plans, started protesting. "NOOOOO-"

"-OOOOOO!" the Emeralds interrupted, only stopping when the Master Emerald completely shattered.

* * *

Sonic dashed up to Shadow, who was sitting in a corner. "Hey Shadow, you know how you call me a faker? Well, you know who's the _real_ faker? YOU are!"

This statement was met with a Chaos Spear to the stomach, flinging Sonic back into the hallway, where he wheezed to Rouge, "There... I did your dare. Can I... have the Emerald you promised me now?"

"Sorry, but did I ever promise that?" Rouge teased, before flying off. "Later, blue boy."


	2. ASDFmovie 2 (With Deleted Scenes)

**A/N: Welcome to ASDFMovie 2! Original disclaimer still in story summary. Includes adaptions of deleted scenes. I do not own any of the other media referenced in this chapter either.**

******Update (4/25/2013): Content transferred/modified from original ASDF movies (dialogue/actions) is now underlined.**

* * *

Nelson Thorndyke, Chris's father and businessman extraordinaire, was hungry. He had just returned from a long business trip, and was looking forward to some of Ella's home cooking. However, as he entered the kitchen, he was surprised to see Chris standing at the counter working, supervised by Ella.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"We baked you a pie!" Chris responded.

"Oh, boy! What flavor?"

"PIE FLAVOR!"

Suddenly, the pie on the counter burst open, a smaller pie flying out of the top as a guitar riff played in the background.

* * *

"I like jewels," Rouge stated, stea...er, _liberating_ some gems from a jewelry store.

"I like _SONIC!_" Amy squealed, glomping her favorite blue hedgehog.

The aforementioned hedgehog, instead of struggling to resist, instead commented, "I'm a Metro Connoisseur, and I like trains!"

This confused both Amy _and_ Sonic, but before they could react, a stray Hyper Beam from the passing Nimbasa Battle Subway blew them in opposite directions.

* * *

"Hey, knucklehead," Rouge said, sidling closer to the Master Emerald's guardian, "Did you know that the word 'gullible' is written on the ceiling?"

"I don't believe you!" Knuckles responded; yet despite his words, he still found himself glancing upwards to see that 'gullible' was, in fact, written on the ceiling.

"Huh, I guess you're right... HEY, GET BACK HERE WITH THE MASTER EMERALD!"

* * *

"I'm gonna eat you, chilidog!" Sonic challenged, feeling serious deja vu.

Thus, he was severely startled when the chilidog sprouted arms holding ketchup and mustard bottles.

"_Not today_," it answered him, aiming its condiment containers.

* * *

"Oh, ho, ho! They told me I could never teach Chaos to drive!" Eggman laughed.

Meanwhile, in a car on the Interstate, Chaos was seriously freaking out, because he couldn't press the brake pedal without his foot deforming around it.

A gurgling cry formed in his... throat?... as he drove off a cliff in the same place Sonic had left the highway in Episode 1.

"CHAOS, NO!" the doctor cried, as the construction workers began grumbling about having to fix the guardrail again.

* * *

"Doctor, I think your gloating may be ineffectual." Bocoe informed Eggman, indicating his struggling captive.

"And what makes you say that?" the evil genius replied.

Bocoe removed his hand from Charmy's mouth as a flood of unintelligible words spewed out.

"He RAMBLES."

* * *

"... So that leaves just one question." the General barked at his new recruit.

"What are you, a MAN or a MOUSE?"

Cheese just sat there, looking confused.

* * *

"Hey, Sonic! I brought you some chilidogs!" Amy announced proudly, certain of her scheme to catch Sonic this time.

Sonic heard the word "chilidogs," and instinctively started in that direction, exclaiming in delight.

However, as soon as he saw Amy, a change in personality seemed to overcome him.

"I like trains." he announced, once again experiencing major deja vu.

The Battle Subway drove by again, this time launching a Solarbeam that exploded (as almost all Pokemon attacks tend to), blowing the two hedgehogs apart.

* * *

***Sha-dow The Hedge-hog!***

Shadow awoke in his capsule on the Crimson Egg, drowsy from his long hibernation.

"How did I... get here?"

***The End***

* * *

Big the Cat looked up from his newspaper as the bobber on his fishing line was pulled under the surface.

"Heh heh heh... I can't read."

* * *

Sonic looked up from where he was resting after his inconclusive race with Shadow. Spying the colony of chao playing nearby, he suddenly gained a mischievous look on his face.

"It seems this contest will not be decided by our mastery of speed," he commented, "but by our skills with a lightsa... I mean, in a _chao fight_."

Shadow, annoyed with the Blue Blur, decided to try and avoid such a humiliating display. "No, I'm allergic to 'adorableness'."

Unfortunately for him, Sonic did not pick up on his hidden message, instead tossing a chao onto Shadow's face.

The chao was so cute that even_ Shadow_ couldn't help but say, "Awww..."

The next anyone saw of him, he was in his hibernation capsule, with a sign above that said "Regenerate In Peace."

* * *

"What are you doing, Sonic?" Tails inquired, seeing Sonic on his workshop computer.

"Trying to figure out why I keep randomly saying 'I like trains'," Sonic answered, scrolling through the Wikipedia article for Jason Griffith.

"Uh, did you mean to change your pronunciation while saying the 'trains' line?"

"No..."

* * *

Sonic approached Shadow, wary of any Chaos attacks. He had tried many different ways to try and get Shadow to race him, and decided to attempt the aggravation approach this time.

"Hey, you know who's a faker? Y..." He was then cut short; not by a Chaos Spear, but by a Blast Burn from the passing Battle Subway.

"Oh, so _that's_ why it didn't show up in Tails' workshop..." Sonic mumbled to himself during the mandatory explosion.

* * *

"I can't wait to eat this chilidog!" Sonic announced at his... 15th?... birthday party.

"Yes you can!" Tails chided him, pointing to whatever it was that introduced the main storyline of Sonic Generations.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sonic replied, tossing the chilidog into the air and running off.

However, he returned in the proper cutscene a few seconds later (due to TIME TRAVEL) and ate it then.

* * *

***Bonus! Deleted Scene 1***

"Whoops, spilled my water." Tails remarked, and left to get a rag to clean up the growing puddle.

Sonic promptly stepped in it by accident, and over-reacted. "AAH! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!"

His Super Drowning Skills kicked in, and he went through the traditional "life lost" animation.

* * *

***Deleted Scene 2***

"WHO parked this GIANT ROBOT on my CHILIDOG?" Sonic demanded angrily.

"I did," Eggman laughed, flying up in his Egg Pod. However, his laugh soon stopped when he saw the angry look on Sonic's face.

Sonic then underwent his Dark Sonic transformation and Chaos Blast-ed Eggman and his mech away.

* * *

***Deleted Scene 3***

"Why won't this idiotic machine WORK?" Eggman complained, kicking it angrily.

That seemed to fix it, as it transformed into a large mech.

"FEED ME CHAOS EMERALDS."

* * *

***Deleted Scene 4***

"Are we there yet?" Charmy chattered, annoying Vector. The crocodile, during moments like this, envied Espio's ability to shut out distractions, as he was doing at the time.

"Yes, we are." Vector sarcastically answered, unaware that Charmy would take his answer literally.

"YAY!" Charmy ran to the door and leaped out, ready to "pretend to" terrorize the locals. However, he was met with only the sight of the Chaotix' ship flying away.

"Aw, _man_. HEY VECTOR, BRING THE SHIP BACK!"


	3. ASDFmovie 3

**A/N: The randomness continues! And remember, keep calm and asdf(jkl;)**

**WAIT, NO! I'M NOT "JK LOL ;)" ABOUT ASDF! COME BACK!1!one!**

**Also, to aid in comparison, I will be ****underlining**** all the (possibly modified) dialogue/actions from the original videos.**

* * *

_I can't wait to get back at Sonic for that incident with the cheese puffs,_ Knuckles mused as he stood in the Station Square park. _But how to get his attention?_

Struck by sudden inspiration, Knuckles yelled to the passing hedgehog, "Hey, Sonic! Check out this big chilidog!"

"Hey, that's pretty cool, man," Sonic began as he walked back around the gatepost. "Wait, there's no chilidog!"

Knuckles opened his mouth to deliver the cutting retort that he had formulated, only to find himself unable to remember. Thus, he resorted to growling angrily.

"OOOOHHHHHH!"

Sonic, playing along, retorted with an equally intelligible "AAAAUUUUUU!"

Thus, Rouge got a video of the two of them together yelling, "OAOAOAHUHUHUHUHU!" at each other.

* * *

"Bokkun," Eggman demanded, "Did you steal my new shape-shifting robot?"

"I AM your new robot," "Bokkun" replied in an uncharacteristically deep voice, transforming into a fly and heading straight for the nearest bug-zapper.

* * *

Meanwhile, the real Bokkun was over at Sam Speed's place. "Here, hold this!" he ordered, shoving one of his explosive TVs into Sam's hands and running through a close-by door.

Seconds ticked down on the screen as Sam waited, puzzled.

Soon, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard, and Bokkun came back out of the room with dripping wet hands.

"Thanks!" Bokkun said cheerfully, taking back the TV and flying away without turning the bathroom sink off.

* * *

Knuckles, still angry at Sonic for the cheese puff incident, trudged through the streets, moping and plotting for his next attempt at revenge.

Then, when he saw Sonic sitting at a nearby picnic table with a chilidog, inspiration struck again!

He ran over, knocked the food onto the table, and started pummeling it as hard as he could.

"Hey, Knuckles, what's wrong with you?" Sonic protested. "Stop that! Cut it out, man! I don't want thi-"

* * *

Vector and Espio snuck carefully into Eggman's base to rescue Charmy (who, if you didn't read last chapter, was annoying Bocoe quite a lot with his incessant chattering).

However, their progress was hampered by a twenty-foot wide pit full of pointy spikes.

"How are we gonna get across?" Vector asked his ninja companion. "It's too far for us to jump without gravity pulling us down!"

"Pfft, who needs gravity?" Espio answered, floating up towards the ceiling.

Vector can be forgiven for just standing there open-mouthed.

* * *

"Goodbye, Eggman." Shadow announced, walking into the doctor's control room.

Eggman, fiddling with a piece of bug-zapped machinery, absent-mindedly answered, "Alright, then, Shadow. I'll see you around. Where are you headed?"

He was then cut off by a Chaos-induced explosion that destroyed half the room, leaving no trace of Shadow.

"Wait, what? What just happened - Oh, that's not what I thought he meant at all!" Eggman exclaimed, wondering why Shadow would do such a thing. However, he wasn't _too_ worried, as Shadow always seemed to have a knack for reappearing after his supposed demise.

Meanwhile, outside the base, Shadow reappeared via Chaos Control and left to try and live a life free of Eggman's orders.

* * *

Sometime before the chilidog-punching debacle, Knuckles decided to try and get back at Rouge for videotaping his failed revenge. And he knew the perfect way to do so.

"Hey, Rouge!" he yelled, approaching her. _This is it, just say something bad about her looks and you have her attention._

"What?" the aforementioned bat replied boredly. "I've got better things to be doing than talking to you."

"There's something on your face!" he answered. She turned to look at him quizzically, only to be met with a right hook. "It was PAIN!"

Knuckles started laughing, reveling in his revenge - until he received a Screw Kick to the gut. "Oof..."

* * *

Meanwhile, back _with_ the chilidog...

"Come on, what's happening with you? Why would you do this? I can't even-"

"I AM PUNCHING YOUR CHILIDOG!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

"Now, Froggy, don't touch my fishing bait," Big admonished, hanging it from a low tree branch.

In response, Froggy (who was not intelligent enough to even understand that simple instruction) jumped up and spilled the worms all over the ground.

Big, so upset that he couldn't form words, sent Froggy away with a point of his finger.

However, about 5 minutes later, Big could be heard yelling, "Froggy, come back! I'm not mad anymore!"

* * *

Tails walked into the hangar on the Blue Typhoon, only to be met with a roaring blaze and a Seedrian with a strangely blank gaze.

"Cosmo, why is the X-Tornado on fire?" Tails asked.

"Join the Metarex with me." Cosmo answered, pulling him towards another ship as if in a trance.

* * *

Bokkun flew by the Chaotix Detective Agency to see Espio meditating outside. It oddly stood out to him that Espio's crossed legs formed the perfect shelf to rest one of his TVs on.

With that in mind, Bokkun flew down and unlatched his messenger bag.

"Don't even think about it." Espio warned him.

* * *

Sonic was fed up with Knuckles' incessant punching of his intended afternoon snack, and decided to take matters into his own hands.

Soon Rouge snickered from her hiding place in the bushes, getting yet another embarrassing video of the two's antics.

In it, Knuckles was still pummeling Sonic's (surprisingly unharmed) chilidog, while Sonic himself was trying to spin-dash the echidna away.

"Heh, heh, heh... Blackmail."

* * *

Chris looked out the window of the Blue Typhoon to see Sonic held prisoner by a couple of Metarex. _I gotta rescue him!_ Chris realized. _And this would be the perfect time to test out my newest invention!_ Gathering what he needed, he sprinted to the exit.

"Hey, Sonic! Check out my new camera!" Chris yelled, waving the device as he ran towards the Metarex.

When he was within range, he he used the hidden laser pistol inside to destroy their optic sensors.

"Oh, wait. This isn't a camera."he offhandedly commented as Sonic excaped from the now blind Metarex.

* * *

After checking every nook and cranny to ensure that neither Knuckles nor Rouge was around, Sonic turned to face his foe.

"I'm gonna eat you, chilidog!" However, a sudden change overcame him right after this statement. "I like trains."

As soon as he realized what he had just said, he was struck by horror. "OH NO NO WAIT!" But it was too late.

Sure enough, the Nimbasa Battle Subway once again came barreling through, its attack of choice this time being (horror of horrors!) a Water Pulse.

Sonic once again went through his Life Lost animation as his chilidog was soaked beyond consumption.

* * *

**A/N: I will be going back and adding in the ****underlining**** to the previous chapters for new readers' ease. Thank you!**


	4. ASDFmovie 4

**A/N: Nothing new, disclaimer in summary still applies.**

**And just in case this is the first chapter you read, here's a handy guide to this story's text:**

Author's original content

Tomska's original/modified content.

* * *

Big the Cat sat down at a library computer, eager to try something out that he had heard.

"I'm gonna do an internet!" he announced.

This was met by a "shhh" from the librarian, and Big chuckled quietly in embarrassment, pressing the spacebar.

Suddenly, a rainbow beam shot out of the screen, nearly blowing him away.

"WHOAAAAAA!" he shouted, hanging on to the edge of the desk to avoid being launched.

Bokkun, sitting across the library, was not so impressed. "Oh yeah?" he retorted. "Well, _I'm_ gonna do a _book_!"

He then tried pressing the text on the page, only to be met with nothing.

"Awww..."

* * *

***The Science Show!***

"Pianos!" Chris announced to the empty baseball field, only to get smashed by one falling from the sky.

However, true to his cartoon character status, he survived (relatively) unharmed.

"Whose idea was this, anyways?" he complained, climbing out of the wreckage.

* * *

The President was hard at work in his office when suddenly, the phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered, picking it up.

_"This is a robbery."_ the unknown caller threatened.

***Dun Dun Dun Du-***

The dramatic music was cut short by the President hanging up the phone, tired of these prank callers.

Meanwhile, over in a public phone booth, Shadow hung up, wondering what in the _world_ had incited him to do that.

* * *

"...and then that weird train came by again." Sonic finished, as he sat with Tails in a coffee shop. (Sonic had ordered decaf, of course. After the incident with that chip in his ear, he did NOT want to re-experience externally induced endless running.) "So, buddy, what's been going on with you?"

"Not that much, but the day got a _hundred _times better now that you're here!" Tails announced in an oddly perky fashion, something that did not escape the blue hedgehog's notice.

"Funny," he commented. "That sounds like something _Amy_ would say, not you, Tails." Glancing out the window, he just happened to see Tails... loading parts into the X-Tornado. That just confirmed his suspicions, but he chose not to say anything.

"That's because it _is_ me!" the pink hedgehog responded, unzipping the head of the Tails costume and climbing out through its mouth. "And you just went on a _date_ with me!"

"Oh." Sonic replied, a deadpan look on his face. _Well, since she wasn't being all clingy, I guess it wasn't _too_ bad_, he mused. "Well, gotta run!"

He dashed off, leaving Amy all starry-eyed and swooning.

* * *

"Hey, Charmy! You can't skateboard there!" Vector yelled at the hyperactive bee.

"You can't tell me what to do!" Charmy replied, only to board straight into a hanging sandbag.

"That's why." Espio chimed in, walking over to inspect the damage to his ninja training equipment.

* * *

"Man, this pie is great!" Sonic commented, downing another slice of Ella's dessert. "I wish I could be a pie."

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, and Sonic no longer stood there. In his place was an oven with a pie baking inside.

"SONIC, NO!" Chris yelled, dumbfounded that the wish actually worked.

Meanwhile, in Amy's house, the glow of Chaos Control faded, just as Amy came in to see Sonic standing where her oven had been.

"Alright, what did you do with my oven and pie?" she demanded, summoning her Piko Piko hammer as Sonic sweatdropped.

* * *

Rouge flew up to the Master Emerald shrine, wearing a top hat. Knuckles, seeing her, sarcastically stated, "Nice hat."

The bat, like the sneak she was, deliberately ignored the sarcasm. "Thanks. I knew that _someday_ you'd notice my impeccable fashion sense."

As his temper flared, a vein stuck out on Knuckles' forehead. "I was being _sarcastic._" he growled.

"Well, I stole the Master Emerald." Rouge answered, prompting Knuckles to look and see that the jewel was, in fact, gone. "Later, knucklehead."

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

* * *

"How do you like my new spleen?" Dark Oak asked his Metarex Generals.

"You are a plant in a robotic suit, Commander." Black Narcissus pointed out.

"I can dream, Narcissus!"

* * *

On a grassy plain, untouched by human hands, a vaguely gumball-machine shaped device warped into view.

A robotic drone soon exited, its cameras sweeping the area.

**Back on the other end...**

"It worked! My time machine worked!" Doctor Eggman yelled, busy monitoring the feeds from his drone.

Suddenly, all but the audio feeds failed after the image of a giant foot appeared on the "visuals" screen.

_"I am a Steg-O-Saurus!"_ a voice announced to the room before the machine died altogether.

* * *

Sonic ran up to Knuckles, his mind racing. _Ever since Tanaka used that car remote, I haven't been able to stop running! And to top it off, ever since I destroyed that robot, this thing in my ear has been driving me CRAZY!_

He managed to still his feet long enough to yell, "Hey, Knuckles! Quick, hit me in the face!" _Maybe that'll dislodge the thing from my ear, and I can figure out how to stop running!_

Knuckles was only too happy to oblige, immediately walloping Sonic with a devastating haymaker.

Unfortunately, that test did not have the desired effect, as Sonic dashed off, able to stand still no longer.

And thus, Chris, Chuck, Amy, Tails, and the rest had to figure out How to Catch a Hedgehog.

* * *

Cream the Rabbit was walking home from the grocery store with a bag of food supplies for her mother Vanilla.

However, her cheerful walk was soon brought to a halt when she heard a familiar voice say, "You're gettin' mugged, kid!"

Afraid to turn around, she glanced in a store window to see Sonic behind her, looking as if he was trying hard not to laugh.

Realizing that he was just playing around, she decided to turn the tables on him. She then pulled a roll of salami out of the shopping bag and turned around, pointing the tube of meat at the hedgehog.

"No, _you're_ getting mugged!" she answered, a comical "serious glare" on her face.

Sonic, deciding to ham it up some, threw his hands up in mock despair, tossing away the foam dart pistol he was holding.

"Agh! How in the world does that even _work_? I guess you win this round, kid." Sonic backed away, retrieved the dart gun, and ran off to find a little kid to give it to.

Cream returned the salami to the grocery bag, continuing on her way as if nothing had happened. But _boy,_ did she have a story to tell her mom when she got home!

* * *

The next day, Cream and Cheese were playing catch in the Station Square Park. As Cream turned around to pick up the ball, a strange laser came out of the sky and shrunk Cheese.

Cream, seeing Cheese's smaller size and assuming it was due to distance, yelled, "Hey, Cheese! Catch!" and threw the ball high up into the air.

"Chao chao chao, chao chao!" Cheese announced, which Cream translated as, "Alright, I'm gonna catch it, I'm gonna catch it!"

Thus, she was extremely surprised when the ball landed quite near her, smushing Cheese and revealing the size difference as it did so.

"Oh, no! Cheese!" the distraught rabbit cried, picking up the chao, who had escaped unscathed because of cartoon physics.

The effects of the shrink ray then wore off, and Cheese grew back to normal size.

* * *

"Banana fight!" Sonic yelled, holding up the aforementioned fruit.

However, his intended opponent would have none of that.

"No!" Shadow replied vehemently, backing up his answer with a Chaos Spear.

* * *

"Ooh hoo ha ha! The Metarex have you trapped now!" the ape-like Metarex drone gloated, seeing Cream, Cosmo and Amy stuck in his vine noose trap.

_THROW THE CHEESE!_ Cream yelled mentally, throwing Cheese at the Metarex.

"Yeah!" Cheese cheered in chao language as the girls extracted themselves from the vine.

* * *

"When I get time off, I wanna visit the moon!" Bokkun told Doctor Eggman, seriously annoying him. After all, genius needs peace and quiet in which to work!

"Why wait?" Eggman questioned, snapping his fingers. On cue, an Egg Pawn grabbed Bokkun and threw him straight up into the sky.

_The moon, huh?_ Eggman mused, rubbing his mustache. _That gives me an idea..._ He snickered evilly, his eggcentric mind formulating a plan involving giant lasers, glowing orbs, and mind control messages.

* * *

**A/N: And that's it for this episode of ASDF, Sonic Style! Hope you enjoyed it!**


	5. ASDFmovie 5

She just couldn't stand it anymore.

Even the euphoria provided by her "quasi-date" with Sonic (acheived through trickery and a clever use of costumes) could not protect Amy forever from the sheer annoyance provided by Charmy's incessant chattering.

"...And, you know, Vector always has those headphones on, even in the shower! I wonder what sort of music he listens to - it sure seems to make him grouchy. Do you like listening to music? I've been practicing on the harmonica, and I'd be glad to see what you think of it..." he babbled, unaware of the obvious anger vein on Amy's forehead. Unfortunately for him, his latest statement brought an evi...er, mischievous... grin to Amy's face.

"If that's the case... Hey, Charmy! Can you play that one about falling down the stairs?"

Amazed that somebody actually wanted to listen to him, he eagerly responded, "Sure thing, Amy!" However, then the reality of what he had agreed to hit him. That realization caused his wings to freeze up, and he stopped flying - right at the top of a flight of stairs.

Due to his shock-induced paralysis, he was unable to stop himself as he tumbled down the stairs, accompanied by cartoonish hollow clunking sounds.

Fortunately for him, his fall was broken before he hit the ground. _Un_fortunately, he instead landed on top of a piano that Knuckles was moving, causing it to emit a discordant note, which accompanied Charmy's groans of pain with perfect disharmony.

"I love it!" Amy called down to Charmy, while Knuckles stood there confused, yet relieved that the accident had not harmed the Master Emerald where he had hidden it inside the piano.

* * *

**ASDF, Sonic Style!  
ASDFMovie 4**

**Welcome back to another installment of the show where Sonic and friends perform the various ASDFMovies, completely unaware (#sarcasm) of the viewing audience. As always, the script (or adaption thereof) of Tomska's original work will be ****underlined.**

**I apologize for the long delay in updates; the two things to blame are procrastination, laziness, and my devotion to slacking off. The three things to blame...  
Never mind, I'll just get on with it.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"It's so beautiful out here," Cosmo remarked as she and Tails sat in the pond on Planet Marmolim, unaware that it was supposed to be a trap for Sonic.

"Yeah. It's just me, you, and the moon." the fox responded, ignoring the raging Amy behind them. "No psychotic hedgehogs lamenting failed plans or anything like that. I mean, how could that possibly happen?"

"You're right," Cosmo giggled, turning to look at the moon again. "That's so unlikely, it might as well be impossible."

They were justifiably surprised when the moon turned into a giant Pacman-shaped face and yelled at them.

"Hey! You two should kiss!"

"Uh, aren't we a little young for that? I'm only supposed to be _eight years old_, for crying out loud!" Tails shot back at the now inert moon.

He thought in the back of his mind that he could vaguely hear Amy's voice shouting, _"That's supposed to be _me_ and _Sonic_ kissing! Can't you tell _him_ that?"_ However, that notion was promptly dismissed as imagination and nothing more.

* * *

"Well, what's wrong with Cubot's voice chip now?" Orbot asked, concerned about the operating condition of his companion robot. After all, if Cubot was out of commission, that would increase his own workload - something he did _not_ want happening.

"Hmmm..." the doctor mused. "Cubot, you appear to have a very severe case of - pause for effect - _BABY VOICE_!"

"Waaaaaaaah! Eughhh!" the afflicted robot responded, more than likely complaining about the way Eggman was ripping off a not-so-evil man who shall remain unnamed (**coughcough**Gru**coughcough**).

Meanwhile, in the "Temporarily Out of Service" Robot Room, Decoe, Bocoe, Bokkun, and all of Eggman's other robotic minions were watching TV on the Times Square Jumbotron.

* * *

In the dark alleys of Station Square, the President's former aide (who, if you didn't watch Sonic X, got fired for scheming with Eggman to make Sonic race against high-speed cop Sam Speed for publicity purposes) skulked through, angrily reminiscing that which was just parenthetically explained. Soon, however, something caught his eye.

"Ooh, hello, TV." he exclaimed, picking up the undamaged piece of electronics from inside the dumpster where it resided.

He pressed the button on its backto turn it on, hoping to catch the latest on Sonic. However, what he was met with was quite unexpected.

"Hello!" Bokkun's smiling face greeted him from the small yellow device.

"Oh..."** *BOOM!***

* * *

"Hey, dude, wanna play some videogames?" Yellow Zelkova asked his fellow General, utterly bored with all the waiting Dark Oak was forcing them to do.

"No way, dude. You always beat me!" Red Pine answered. "Wait a minute! Did we both just call each other 'dude'? That's something teenage humans do, not we superior Metarex generals! It would be horrible if this got out into the public!"

Zelkova cast an aside glance at the screen. "WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA GET OUT, BECAUSE _YOU_ ARE GONNA TELL NO ONE!"

The force of his improvised and unintended Hyper Voice attack left Red Pine with the wind knocked out of him, bruises forming from his collision with the fourth wall.

* * *

While strolling leisurely (at a *measly* 35 mph) through the Asteroid Coaster area of Eggman's Interstellar Amusement park, Sonic passed by a sign that said, "WARNING: LEDGE."

Unable to stop in time, he headed straight off the ledge, only to float upwards rather than falling.

"Oh, okay..." the hedgehog commented, glancing up to see a Badnik carrying a load of gravity-reversal plates to the location of the next level.

* * *

An incessant ringing noise echoed throughout the Grand Egg Imperial, as it shuddered under the barrage of non-standard ammunition from which it was suffering.

"Oh, man, is she _ever_ gonna run out of hammers?" Bokkun complained.

"NO!" Amy replied from the ground, still (literally) burning with anger. "BECAUSE... er, because..."

She trailed off into thought, wondering about it herself. Eggman and his robots visibly relaxed - for about five seconds, after which Amy returned to her angry rampage. "BECAUSE I WORK AT THE HAMMER FACTORY!1!ONE!11!TWO1!"

Watching the video feed from inside the dimensional elevator (and annoyed at the persistent elevator music), Super Sonic was confused. After all, how could the author accidentally _spell out_ a "two" during a string of exclamation marks?

As punishment for doubting my judgment, Super Sonic was forced to wait until Tails was about to be taken out by Eggman's homing missile to exit the elevator. But that's okay, because that's when he came out in the actual episode, right?

* * *

A three-year-old Chris Thorndyke tightly hugged the new plush toy that his parents had gotten him.

"Well, how do you like it?" Lindsey asked her son. To be honest, she hadn't been expecting such an accepting reaction, as the toy wasn't the sort that young boys usually played with. In fact, it was a homemade toy that had formerly belonged to one of Nelson's coworkers' children, who had (in his words) "outgrown the 'ponies and rainbows' phase." Both elements were easily recognizable in the item that Chris was now playing with.

"Fanks, mommy! I fink my new toy is cool! I wike my wittwe pony toy!" he lisped adorably, rubbing the cyan fabric of its body.

"That's good, honey-" Lindsey began, only to be interrupted by her cell phone buzzing. Taking a look at the text message she had received, she turned back to Chris. "Hey, Chris, I have a meeting I need to get to, so I have to go. Be good for Ella and Mr. Tanaka, okay?"

"Okay, mommy!" After she had left the room, Chris returned to playing with his new toy. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to have wings sewn onto it, just in front of the lightning-bolt symbol it also sported. "Ooh," he commented, waving the wings up and down like a bird's. "I wondew if my pony can fwy?"

Just as he uttered these words, a single beam of lingering Chaos Energy from the ARK's Eclipse Cannon flew in through the open window, striking the toy and bringing it to life. The wings began fluttering by themselves, and the now not-so-plush pony started flying in circles around the room at breakneck speeds, before vanishing through a portal of Chaos Energy to a dimension unknown.

Chris was so amazed that all he could squeak out was a faint, "Huh...", while the TV in the next room over switched to a weather report about the strange cloud formation rotating above the Thorndyke mansion.

* * *

**And now: Flickies.**

*Chirp* a blue Flicky tweeted, looking over at its companion.

"I was just about to say that!" the red Flicky responded, surprised.

"Are you serious?"

"Totally!"

"Ooh, that is _spooky!_"

"We are _so_ in sync!" Sadly, their conversation was cut short when Eggman arrived at his holding pens to gather the squirrel power... er, forest critter power... to power his E-100 robots.

* * *

"Look, mom! A TV!" Cream announced, proudly holding up the device to show her mother Vanilla.

"Chao, chao!" Cheese added excitedly, waving his stubby arms around and accidentally pushing it onto the floor.

It landed face-up, depressing the button on the back that turned it on. A face that was unfamiliar to both of them (but that they would soon come to recognize easily) appeared on screen, announcing, "Hello!"

The TV promptly exploded, and in the ensuing chaos, Doctor Eggman kidnapped Cream and Cheese to use as hostages during the scheme that would eventually lead them to Earth.

* * *

Tails was in his workshop, attempting to upgrade the Tornado, when one of Eggman's Egg Pawns walked in to try and capture him.

Engrossed in his work, the fox paid almost no attention to the Egg Pawn, believing (due to the red color) that it was just Knuckles visiting.

"Here, hold this." he ordered, handing the Tornado's EMP emitter behind him so he could reach what was underneath. The emitter promptly sent a piercing knife of electromagnetic radiation into the robot's chassis, effectively disabling it.

Tails finished up with his modifications. "Alright, Knuckles, I'm ready to have that back now." Hearing no answer and receiving no machinery, he turned around. "Oh, so it _wasn't_ Knuckles... Oh well, more spare parts!"

* * *

"I am _so_ mad at you," Knuckles shouted at Rouge, "that I think I'm going to punch you in the face!" Turning to the camera, he added in a much calmer tone of voice, "Don't do this at home unless you're a cartoon or video game character, kids."

"I know how much you'd _love_ to do that, Knuckie," Rouge retorted coyly, "but it's opposite day, so you can't!"

Knuckles, angry again and in mid-swing, realized his mistake too late, as a blue and a yellow portal appeared in between the two of them.

"Oh, no!" he yelled, unable to stop himself as his fist went into the blue portal, came out the yelow, and hit his own face.

Rouge just stood there, smiling smugly.

* * *

Chris's schoolteacher Mr. Stewart exited his car, exhausted after a long day of business as usual, and noticed something odd in his driveway.

A small yellow television sat there, starkly contrasting with the cement on which it rested. Innocuous enough, but as "Chalkboard Charlie" he had heard enough about Bokkun's devices that he knew turning it on would be a bad idea.

"Oh, no. I am not watching anything on you." he thought out loud, staring thoughtfully at the TV. He was debating whether or not to try and bring it in for analysis, when he noticed a shadow overhead.

Suddenly, a car crashed down on top of him, and Chaos fled the scene, panicking wildly. The resulting tremors were enough to topple the TV onto its activation button.

"Hello!" Oddly enough, it didn't explode (most likely due to the water-based form of Chaos short-circuiting its self-destruct sequence).

"That was close," Mr. Stewart commented, climbing out from under the car and deactivating the prototype personal shielding device he had used. "I _really_ need a nap."

* * *

**And that's it for another round of...**

* * *

"Do you ever get tired of being random?" Charmy questioned.

Espio, who was for some reason wearing a duck beak, said nothing, choosing instead to shoot a glare at the author for putting him in such a ridiculous situation.

"Me neither." the bee concluded, having procured and donned a matching mask.

* * *

**ASDF, Sonic Style!**

**And before anyone asks, I wasn't sure during the credits whether the people had actually _turned into_ ducks or were just wearing duck masks, so I followed the transcript on the ASDFMovie Wiki.**

**To guest reviewer BinaryHedgehog, your question has been answered - the "Standing Up School" and "Do the Flop" are not in this chapter, because they are part of Movie 6. I will be doing them next chapter, though.**

**I intend to get the next update out faster, but as I said before: My three writing enemies are procrastination, laziness, my devotion to slacking off, and writer's block. My four - no, _among_ my writing enemies are...**

**Oh, never mind. See ya!**


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